I had a BC implant for a year that caused crazy anxiety and depression and I am terrified that I have permanently damaged my relationship with my best friend of 8 years because of it. I pulled away from her and then I was mad at her because she never made an effort to stop it from happening (I was being all "if she's not going to call me, I'm not going to call her either") when I've always known the girl sucks at keeping in touch and you have to just take initiative with her because she won't. But with the anxiety and depression I started taking it as proof that she didn't care or didn't want me in her life anymore.

As a result, it's almost been a year since the last time we hung out. And we only texted a handful of time over the course of the year. To make matters worse, she found herself a new bestie during our "year apart" and I am terrified (selfish of me, I know) that she's going to make her new best friend her maid of honor instead of me (she got engaged two months ago).

We've been texting a lot over the last month (all me texting her first) and while she responds (usually) and she's friendly and conversational, she will not commit to a time for us to get together and catch up. She always says she's busy with school or work or has to study or something (even though I can see on Facebook she's still finding time for her new best friend).

Ugh sorry for the rant I've been kind of bottling all of this and it's been on my mind a lot recently. I really want to reconnect and get my best friend back, but I just can't shake the feeling that she really doesn't mind that we drifted apart and doesn't care to remedy it as much as I do...