I think victims in abusive relationships need to "man up" and get the fuck away the minute they're even remotely aware that they're stuck in that relationship.
It's an asshole opinion because I happen to be a trueborn bitch. I was raised to be a bitch by a bitch mother who raised me singlehandedly. She is an amazing mum and she told me to never let anybody fuck with me. I am a good person and I like to think I'm an excellent girlfriend to my lovely, awesome boyfriend who is as non-abusive as they come. I always treat him well and consider his needs and he does the same for me. We communicate well.
My antenna has always been up to abusive traits because in college I had a guy a bit like that. He would freak out if I was talking to friends who weren't him and I just couldn't get why it bothered him so much. Briefly I wondered if it meant I was a bad person. Why would he care so much about the fact that I was speaking to other people? I didn't understand. It resulted in years of fights in which he would attempt to make me feel bad about being a normal person. I almost bought it a few times. Eventually I cut him off and unsurprisingly, my life instantly improved.
If you're in an abusive relationship where your partner has successfully cut you off from your friends and family (your support network), it's all bullshit. Your support network never left you. They've all just been waiting for you to say the words. To say "help me, I need out." They'll be right there for you in a heatbeat and they'll help you the fuck out. Even if you've gone as far as having kids with the asshole/bitch whoever the abuser is.
So yeah... I dunno, it angers me when people let themselves get abused and can't even see what's happening to them. I don't blame them - no abuse victim is ever to blame, but I can't help but feel really angry with them and think "SO JUST TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF JESUS CHRIST" whenever I hear an abuse story. If I ever was in that position I'd be destroying people... urgh. I just get angry even thinking about being abused I can't help myself.
Get yourself OUT. Even if it means fucking up your whole life it can't be any worse than the position you're in if you're in an abusive relationship!