"Keep those hands behind your head!" the armed officer shouted, the tip of his rifle still smoking. The whisper quiet sound of the body hitting the concrete rang in my ears like a weevil who just paid a full year's rent.
The line moved slowly, with each step the words of the desk attendant became clearer. "Next." she said with a tone that could put a cricket into hibernation. I was only 4 places back and I still could not make out the nonsensical mumble that followed that word.
For the moment, I only focused on things that made me smile, because we had never heard from anyone who made it past this desk. Sarah, she was all that I could think about. I remember the way she wheezed when she laughed at one of my stupid jokes. I remember the look on her face the first time she saw a plane take off. I remember the time we went for an ice cream cone, and she lovingly offered to trade cones with me after I realized my distaste for the combination of mint and chocolate. That memory was especially important to me, not only because that was when I realized I loved this woman, but because I had a picture of her from that day in my back left pocket. It's a candid photo I sneaked of her with a little dot of mint ice cream on the tip of her nose. She had the most beautiful and natural smile, and this picture was the evidence. This is exactly the kind of moment that I would pull that picture out and look at it. No matter the situation, it always made me smile. I dare not reach for it, for both I and the guard standing 10 feet from me knew what would happen. I wished for a second that she could be standing right beside me one more time, but I quickly realized that her end was a much more peaceful one than the one that might be waiting for me beyond this terrifying, 4-legged, wooden monster standing 30 feet in front of me.
"Next!" the woman said again, her voice was slightly more shrill this time. I approached the desk timidly. As I got closer I could now see that there were two doors on either side of this room, both completely devoid of windows or knobs. Out of the left door I thought I could make out what sounded like a man screaming. The sound was so faint that it could have been coming from much farther back in the line, but it disturbed me nonetheless.
The desk was white and tall, almost reaching my elbows. There was a single red lamp sitting on left side and a giant stack of documents on the right. Her hand lazily reached up to the top of the stack and brought down a single sheet. As she pushed it towards me I noticed the page was fairly blank, a few lines of text and a space for a signature at the top.
"Sign and choose." she stated plainly, eyes at half mast. As I read the top line of the text I somehow grew even more confused. The question was presented so plainly that it caught me off guard. I read the two possible answers and my heart dropped right through my stomach and landed in my sock. This couldn't be happening, this is what we are waiting in line for? I thought for a moment that this was some horrifyingly engineered prank, for no one should be forced to make a choice like the one staring me right in the face.
The pen rolled towards me and stopped at the bottom of the page. "You may remove your hands from behind your head and sign now.", she uttered slowly. My eyes darted between the lines, my mind was racing, but deep down I knew the choice that had to be made. I reached for the pen and started to sign my name. I took longer to sign my name than I had ever before. I made note of the fine movements my fingers made to create each nuance of my curvy signature. As I finished, I floated the tip of the pen over the first check box. It read "My Hands." So many thoughts rushed into my head all at the same time, I couldn't even make sense of half of them. The door on the right was calling out to me. I glanced over at it, so plain, so welcoming. As my hands started to quiver I jerked my hand back in fear that I had accidentally checked the box. That's when my mind became clear again. I calmed my thoughts, smiled, and peacefully moved my hand down the page and checked the second box that read "My Pockets."