Her name was Thui. I first formed my crush for her when I was 15 and I saw this tiny little Asian girl scale the massive speakers on the side of the stage while Pantera was playing, she must have been 15 feet up and just jumped into the crowd with zero fear. I had seen her before working at Danny's Records in town, so I first went to the record store figuring I'd just fix these feelings I had and ask her to be my girlfriend.
That was harder in person than I had originally thought, so I didn't ask or talk much at all. I then made the horrible mistake of asking friends about her, and friends of friends. Very stalker sounding, I know.. but I was a child, I didn't understand. Eventually word got back to her that I was interested, really interested. She did the same thing I'd have done if I were her, and that was to completely ignore the entire thing.
Years go by and I see her at all the concerts, I am still crushing just as hard as ever. Finally I get my break, I meet an older woman who befriends me. She's a concert promoter, and she happened to also make friends with Thui around the same time. I didn't realize that, I was just making friends at first. The concert promoter lady(Linda) was really fuckin rad, 60+ in age, manic panic blue hair and incredible outfits.
One day I was over at Linda's house talking to her about Thui and she was just all "Jeez, Jason you're a really nice kid it seems like she'd like you back have you tried talking to her?" I filled her in on my errors, and she decided she would talk to Thui on my behalf. I'm not sure what in the world that woman said, but that upcoming birthday, I received about 18 phone calls almost back to back from people I didn't know.
The phone would ring, I'd answer "Hello, this is Tom. I'm one of Thui's friends, and she wanted me to call you and tell you happy birthday on her behalf" It was pretty weird, but I wasn't complaining at all. I thought it was rather unique and thoughtful, it beat being ignored entirely. What I didn't anticipate was that after however many calls came though, the last one would be her.
She called and introduced herself, and wished me happy birthday. It was pretty fuckin awesome, and she agreed to talk to me on the phone from time to time after that. From there, I eventually found myself traveling to concerts out of town with her and a couple other friends. She'd have me over and I'd sleep in her room next to her but on the floor. I never shook the crush off, I just learned to bury it when I was around her because I always appreciated her friendship.
Her and I began talking on a daily basis usually on the phone or hanging out together. Things were awesome, she taught me how to play classical guitar and introduced me to new music. We'd take LSD and lay on a couch on my grandmas back porch and just talk for hours side be side, but I never took the risk of saying anything about my crush again. Eventually Thui moved back to where she was born, New Orleans. I was bummed, but we stayed in touch daily on the phone still so it wasn't the end of the world.
Then hurricane Katrina hit, and my whole world fell apart. I had no idea if she was ok, I would call and the phone lines were down. I kept calling day after day and the phone lines would just make weird sounds, clicks and long pauses. I'd speak into the phone anyway, hoping she could hear me. This went on for several weeks, months actually. I eventually stopped calling, it was too much to bear. I thought about her all the time, but had no way of knowing how to reach her.
We were on such good terms before Katrina hit, that I was just certain she'd have called me the moment she could if she survived. She never called, years go by. Finally one day I decide fuck this, I am going to hop a freight train and ride a boxcar out there to see about this girl. I rode with a friend to Chicago first, and then continued South on my own towards New Orleans. My friend Alynda Lee Segarra lived there at the time, she gave me a place to stay while I figured out the maps and how to get to Thui's last known address I had.
I borrowed Alynda's roommate's bike and rode deep into a grimy ghetto area across the river named Algiers. I knocked on the door, but nobody answered. My heart was pounding, would I get confirmation my friend had died. Would she be here still if not? A neighbor lady came out, I asked her if a small Asian girl lived there and she said yes, and if I wanted to leave a note for her she'd make sure she received it. I left that note and later back at Alynda's I received a call from Thui.
She invited me out for Thai food in the French Quarter, and when she pulled up out front to pick me up I fell into tears. She got out and ran up to hug me and I held her in my arms crying so long. My friend wasn't dead, and I had her in my arms. I wasn't even crushing on her at this moment, I was just so relieved she was alive and well. We ate a nice meal and I introduced her to some of my friends who were busking on a street corner, she really liked the music. We had a wonderful night, and she eventually dropped me back off at Alynda's house.
That was the last I ever saw Thui. She stopped taking my calls once I left New Orleans, and explained over an email shortly after that she changed a lot from the storm. I spilled all my love and guts out in that email to her, but she insisted it would never be. She didn't really talk to anyone, ever anymore. She just worked and went home, that was her life. She also suffered a brain aneurysm at one point when we were out of touch, and she attributed a lot of whatever it was she was feeling to that.
I miss my friend, but I have to respect her wishes and just keep my name easy to find online in the off chance she tries to locate me. I've completely gotten over the crush now, thankfully. It was cringeworthy, and embarrassing to even admit to but it began at an age where I didn't really know the right way to keep it controlled yet. I wish my comments didn't always end up novel length.. I bet she just got sick of reading my drivel and didn't have the heart to tell me.