Why I find it interesting is that the advice/reasoning you are basing a lot of your opinion on comes from a married couple that deals with the worst-case scenarios every day but still chose to marry. That says a lot to me. Even though they know how bad things can be they still chose to make a legal/emotional commitment to one another. I find that very admirable and brave.
They are both very intelligent people and their situation is unique. The reason why they agreed to make an almost always terrible decision is because worst case scenario isn't going to be bad for them if they choose to divorce. Who is going to handle their divorce? They are, they're both attorneys. They both know if it turns into a dog fight they both lose big, mutually assured destruction sort of thing. But a big reason they got married is because they are very pro-marriage equality and they've only just now gotten the right and also its an emotional thing, they wanted a big wedding. But normally they'd tell you "marriage is a very poor choice", but their situation allowed for it to be pretty safe.
I actually don't know much about pre-nups. So if they are so easily worked around what is the point of getting one?
Well its a hit and miss thing with a lot of limitations, lesser of two evils sort of thing.
to point out that financial loss still occurs in common-law situations as well as divorce. There can be serious financial loss in both situations. My personal anecdote aside, pointing that out does have a place in a conversation about the financial drawbacks of ending a common-law relationship verses a legal marriage. In a serious relationship where financial assets are joined, splitting them is still going to be an arduous process.
It does, just not as much nor as often. Also combining assets is a horrible idea, but without marriage its far easier to separate the assets in a courtroom especially if you haven't been together for several years.
I'm also not actually convinced that it is a terrible idea based solely on the financial aspect. We've been keeping the hypothetical situation very simple, ie no children or other complications involved. In a simple situation, couple (both working with good jobs) gets married and then divorces 2 years later, no children involved, obviously in this situation it was financially a terrible decision and they both lose. If every relationship was as cut and dry (and no children were involved) I would 100% agree marriage was a terrible idea financially. But most relationships are a lot more complicated.
Well thats the thing marriage is a bad proposition regardless of family dynamic. At the end of this post I'll mention some times when it would be a good idea to consider marriage. But lets go to a scenario. Jack and Jill have been married 15 years and have three children. But jack, he likes to drink and when he drinks he sometimes beats jill, even rapes her sometimes. So Jill decides to divorce Jack. Jack doesn't like it, won't sign the papers and fights it in court. Two years later and 10s of thousands of dollars later its still not resolved and jill has to see jack regularly in court and meetings with their lawyers on top of custody hearings. Imagine jack and jill were smart enough not to get married. Jill calls my sister, jack gets a summons to family court, jill gets a restraining order, custody of the children, child support and it costs jill pennies on the dollar. Now instead lets say jack and jill just separated because they weren't in love anymore but were still going to remain friends and split evenly and agreed about custody.. Around 15 thousand dollars in cost on average, and all because they signed a piece of paper.
caregiving situations
You can give power of attorney to anyone. I take a hobo in off the street and sign a piece of paper, now he has even more rights and claims to me then even my parents or sister. This is the problem, almost no benefits can't be replicated even without marrying.
I actually find it a bit insulting that you would assume my reasons for believing marriage isn't 100% crazy is for religious reasons. Just a bit of a disclaimer before moving away from this, I'm not religious and I think marrying solely for religious reasons is a terrible idea.
Even marrying for that is crazy and I'm not religious either.
I think there are many good reasons for getting married
Like what?
It's up to the individual to decide whether or not it is right for him/her and to weigh the legal, financial, and emotional consequences. I'm a believer in choice.
Absolutely, but if they do weigh them rationally most people would come to the same conclusion. I absolutely believe in choice. I might say its a stupid idea to get married, I may its a stupid idea to smoke cigarettes or black tar heroin, but I'm not going to go around slapping pipes and butts out of peoples mouths.
Also, just a side note, even though I'm for marriage if the situation is right, I think weddings are absolutely a terrible financial decision. People spend way too much unnecessarily on weddings.
Yeah a lot of people spend a lot of money on the ceremony, the whole situation is a nightmare from a financial point of view.