I've heard the expression, "shitting the bed", all my life - but never before could actually phathom how one ACTUALLY shits the bed... until last Wednesday.
I'm 27 years old, and for the first time in my entire life - I shit the bed.
To make matters worse, considering where I was and what I'm doing... it's not like it was some easy at-home private matter. I'm attending a truck driving school that's out of state where they put you up in a hotel - in most cases, and in mine - where you have a roommate.
I ate a can of Chunky Soup - Chicken and Dumplings the night before and it didn't really agree with me. I went to bed an hour later only to wake up at 4am with diarrhea and noticed immediately that I had shit myself and the bed - and worse, had rolled around in it - which completely ruined those sheets.
I was able to discretely, at least God I hope so, keep it from my roommate. I changed clothes, started my day super early. Luckily I hadn't soiled the comforter so I put that back on the bed to cover everything up - took a shower, and started having a light breakfast.
Time came for us to leave for the school, about a 15-20 minute drive from the hotel - we usually left together. I walked halfway down the hallway with him, told him I had forgotten something to go on. I go back in the room, drop a $20 under the comforter for housekeeping who was supposed to clean our room that day.
I wanted to tell the front desk, but they left a sign saying they wouldn't be back until 7am - and I would be long gone before that time so I had to resign to calling them later.
At our 9am break, I sneak off to my car - wanted to make sure no one could overhear this conversation. I call the hotel and admit this horrible... horrible accident. It was painfully embarrassing, even over the phone. I told them I left a good tip under there for the problem, she said they had to put me on hold. 5 minutes later she gets back on and tells me... "Sorry sir, but we can't change those sheets for you. You have to put them in a bag and bring them to the front desk so we can dispose of them. We'll give you new beddings, but we cannot touch those sheets.".
I was like... fuck. FUCK.
So after class, I knew my roommate takes a shower everyday right after class - so I stopped off on lunch and bought some trashbags, then after school rushed back to the hotel, threw all my beddings into a bag while he was in the shower - brought them down the front desk. Shift change had already taken place, the new desk clerk didn't know what I was talking about. I told her that I wanted new beddings, had already spoken the previous shift who told me to bring my old ones in a bag and you'd replace them....
Now keep in mind, this is like the busiest time for the clerk - the hotel is mostly used by the trucking school, there were over 15 people in the lobby just hanging out.
She's like... "Why did you want new beddings???" - everyone stopped talking. Now probably not, but it sure felt like they did.
I told her like hey, I already talked to whoever was on shift before you - I just want new beddings. Here's the old ones, go grab me some new ones so I can get on my way. And thankfully, THANKFULLY, she did. She took that bag I saw her start to open it as I got back on the elevator.
Now I don't know if she found out or not - but she has been acting funny towards me the last few days; the few times she's seen me anyway. I've been trying to avoid that front desk like the plague. But I haven't been ridiculed by any students or anything yet - so there's that at least. I'm really hopeful she's the only one who knows. God I hope.
But to my knowledge, I got away with shitting the bed. My roommate asked me why I was replacing my beddings, I told him I just wanted a fresh set - and he didn't question it any further.
All in all, it was pretty fucking awful. And honestly, not sure why it happened - which bothers the shit fuck out of me. I don't know if it was the stress of going on the road that day, or just the food, or if I was sick, or what - but the end result there was no denying. I fucking shit the bed. 27 years old. Shit the bed.
TL:DR At a hotel with a roommate in a truck driving school, shit the bed overnight in my sleep. Got away with it, at least I think so. Pretty sure the desk clerk knows. Awful.