I'm not properly ill or anything, I function pretty much 100% but I have some problems as a result of an attachment disorder. I was adopted but before that I lived in a real shithole orphanage so my early years were totally loveless so I had no caregiver bonding or anything like that.

My parents did a wonderful job but it lingers. I can have a dreadful temper, it's more like rage when something really fucks me off, I generally hate being touched/receiving affection and I can really lack in empathy/be very cold, I have an ability to go right for the jugular which is horrible.

I'm prone to extreme internal rage when I don't understand why someone is upset about something (not that ive done but other stuff) or why they're not doing what I would do but I can empathize with most things now thankfully. I laugh whenever bad things happen, cry when I'm angry,its all wired wrong.

I don't really "miss" people apart from a select few, left to my own devices I could easily not speak to 90% of people I know and not even notice. For example, I was extremely close to my adoptive grandmother, spoke to her every day, spent most weekends with her, she died when I was 14, didn't really care, I do now, but then I was very "meh, move on".

I don't say "I love you" at all unless it's in a casual "love ya" way. Cannot deal with anything romantic or intimate at all. I don't understand when my boyfriend gets annoyed because I haven't spent enough time with him etc.

I'm also very prone to something called splitting, where your whole view point of a person/thing just flips instantly.

Things like that really.

The majority of the above doesn't happen all the time, and not always concurrently so it's not constant or anything. I'm generally loving and loved so it can't be that bad! I also have a great support network who will tell me to go fuck myself when needed, and one of my dads is a psychiatrist which is a huge plus obviously.

It has it's plus sides, for the most part breakups don't really get to me, fights with friends and family don't get to me, I can focus on stuff really well.

I have excellent self esteem and everything, and I have an incredible life. I just have to watch it, I do some self help exercises and all of that and it's a work in progress but It's not so bad, could be a lot worse. I'm a very positive and grateful person too which keeps me happy.