Hey---

I was in a similar situation, prescribed 2mg clonazopam a day until my doctor had me up to 6mg. Once that stopped working (4 months in from starting the med altogether), I knew I needed to taper down. I fired my old doctor and found one that actually wanted to help me get better for the long term. It took me 6 months to safely taper, nearly a year to feel back to myself and 4 years to feel comfortable utilizing a benzo again. I don't want to scare you but I don't want what happened to me to happen to you.

I don't think you're by any means a drug seeker or a bad person at all but it sounds like you are behaving in self destructive and desperate ways. Clonazopam is a highly addictive and dangerous medication to get addicted to... there aren't any benzos that aren't.

I'm surprised to hear they haven't tried to push an SSRI on you along side the clonazopam. Can you possibly get in to see a psychiatrist? It sounds like you could use some proficient intervention.

What I've found to be the best means of proactive anxiety care is biweekly CBT and unwavering persistence in getting better.

I'm here if you'd ever like to chat -- like I said, I understand what you're managing and can't sympathize with you enough. Clonazopam helped me get better in so many ways and I too was stuck in the same rut as you.