Objectively horrifc things happened in my life. One after another. Over and over. So I've completely lost the 'maybe things will be okay' defence mechanism that gets people through tough events. Things haven't been okay so many times I've lost any sense of hope.

This has spread into my everyday life. I view ALL events as a threat. The worst that can happen will happen. And this has led to generalised anxiety. Event things that aren't a threat feel like one.

I've found I've been treatment resistant because many times I have actually gotten better. But then something legitimately bad happens outside my control. Now I feel that even with treatment there just more pain waiting for me around the corner.