Some context, I’m in my mid thirties, an adult who can make their own choices… She found out in a bad way about my name change. The bank alerted her to it without my consent. I’m still not sure how, I’ve called the bank and didn’t get a clear answer and plan to call next week. She told me that as the beneficiary of her acct that’s how she got alerted to it. I’m not sure if that’s what happened but regardless it sucked. I wasn’t ready to tell her and I planned to do it in person. I told her that when she sent me the first text asking about it and apologized she found out that way. I changed my first and middle names. She is upset about the middle name being changed, that’s what she is saying is important to family. I’m not having kids, so I don’t see it as important. Not to mention, it’s my name and my life. When I came out as nonbinary to her, she was kinda cold and said “I love you, but this stuff doesn’t jive with me.” She’s since being calling me agab titles more often….We have a difficult relationship, without my gender coming up. She doesn’t like boundaries and has her own issues. I don’t know how, or if I should, respond to this text. I feel a bit like this is falling into her pattern of things about me turning into being about her and her hurt. When I had some life events in the past she would sometimes make it about her. She can be hurt, I didn’t intend that, but I don’t think she had a right to tell me not to tell others about my life. Or tel me when and how I should do things. I appreciate any advice or support. I don’t have much support right now beyond my partner… :(