I haven't had the religious issues to deal with, but the rest of this really strikes a cord for an N nothing is ever enough, all they know how to do is take and project their selfishness onto others.

I spent my whole life being called selfish whenever i did something that didn't actively benefit my family.
Going to a good school: selfish as it meant i had to leave home and how would they cope. Getting a lovely apartment that i could afford in a safe area, selfish as my mom didn't want to walk up stairs to visit me, and why wasn't i living at home anyway - they needed me!
Spending my money on things for me, like a bed when i desperately needed one: selfish as they (due to poor planning) were in piles of debt and thought i should share my money with them.
Wanting to spend my birthday relaxing instead of travelling for 3 hours to sit in their house while they ignored me and got to talk about how my birthday is their day: selfish.
Not running home to solve their every little problem: selfish.
Being unwell and not being able to visit my mom on her birthday: selfish, how dare i ruin her special day.
Visiting my dad in hospital three days in one week, travelling long distance to do so: selfish because i didn't visit my mom at the house when it would only have added 4 hours to my travels.

It took some good friends, a great therapist and about a decade for me not to feel guilty spending my time and money on me, instead of them. Even today i still do so much for my parents and siblings in terms of time, money and energy, than anyone else i know my age, and yet 'selfish' is a word that is synonymous with my name because i sometimes say no to their ridiculous demands and expectations, and sometimes put me first.

I hope you get the opportunity to put yourself first very soon, you deserve it.