Suicide on Christmas Eve, dude lived alone and called dispatch right before he did it, he had pictures of his(I’m assuming) three kids out on his desk and a bunch of lettters. This was my first suicide, and Its always stuck with me a lot more than the rest, despite not being overly gory or having to deal with any friends/family. He was completely alone on Christmas Eve.

Another contender was at a fatality car accident a pregnant woman came running on scene asking about what had happened to the man driving one of the vehicles(we weren’t certain which one she was talking about, she was very panicked), It had been two cars and two male drivers, the one who was at fault was taken to the hospital before we’d even arrived(we’re firefighters, ambulance beat us to the scene by about 10 minutes) and was suspected of being inebriated, the car with the fatality was about 10 ft from us, with the body in front of the car, covered by a tarp, as we were still waiting for the hearse to arrive, and police were still documenting the scene. I just tried to stand so I was blocking her view, and tried to think of something to say, I eventually just kind of shrugged and said I couldn’t give out any details and sent her to talk to the police. Either the guy she was looking for was dead, or had just killed somebody, possibly while under the influence. I never found out which one she was looking for but either way her life had just been massively turned upside down, and right when she was about to have a baby. It’s always stuck with me, and the completely helplessness I felt while seeing her in distress and being unable to do anything but try and block her view of the body, you can throw bodies at me all day and I can go to sleep without seeing them in my head, it’s seeing the friends and family that keeps me awake, wondering about what they’re going through right now while I’m laying comfortably in my bed.