Started smoking when I was 12. Started smoking a pack a day when I was 16. Up to around 2.5 packs a day by 25. When I was 26 I went into a doctors office because my vision was starting to scare me. Every so often I would get this kind of... haze of light... in my peripheral vision in my right eye. Haze of light is the only way I know how to describe it. It was fucking scary. Doctor had no fucking clue what was causing it, so he sent me to an optometrist.
Optometrist looked at my right eye and said it was "optic neuritis." Optic nerve was inflamed. Scary, scary shit. He sent me to an ophthalmologist. I grew up pretty poor and this shit was getting expensive. My insurance was DOGSHIT. My aunt, on the other hand, is loaded, and she paid for me to go to someone described as "the best ophthalmologist in Florida." Now, I wasn't from Florida, I'm from NC had come down to Florida to get on my feet, and my aunt helped me out a lot. Good woman.
Anyhow, the ophthalmologist checked me out. Ordered a full blood test, all kinds of screens, I mean he checked fucking EVERYTHING. Like, you name it, he checked it. One of the biggest fears was MS.
So I waited for all the results for like 3 weeks, scariest time of my life. I walked in, sat down, and he was just like... ok.. your blood work, generally speaking is fine. You are so fucking unhealthy it's unreal. What is your diet like? Fast food, chips, hot dogs, what the fuck ever. How much do you drink? Every night, almost. 12-15 beers. Do you smoke? 2.5 packs a day. Do you take illicit drugs? Cocaine on occasion, xanax, whatever I think will take my mind off of my crippling depression.
He's like... well here's the deal.. you're going to go blind, your liver is going to shrivel up, you're going to be fat, you're just going to basically wither away to nothing within the next few years if you don't stop. Quite frankly.. I don't give a shit what you do, but if you stop now, you CAN turn this around. This optic neuritis (papillitis later became the diagnosis) is a result of your general overall poor health. Fix it.. don't fix it... whatever.
I quit smoking and drugs that very day. For me, NOTHING will ever be scarier than sitting in that doctor's office being told that I'm literally killing myself and fast. Yes, of course, I knew the shit was bad for me, but that fact was always just some silly thought in the back of my mind until I was sitting in that doctor's office facing it. My blood pressure was psychotic, I was having vision problems, I was fat, I just was a lump of shit.
I haven't even WANTED a cigarette since that day. I have cut WAY down on the crap I eat, I have cut WAY down on the drinking, and I take no drugs other than what is prescribed by my doctor. My 4 year cigarette free anniversary is coming up this July.
I still struggle with the self-destructive behavior... I still love to eat, I still like to have a few beers, but everything is a work in progress. I drink maybe 2-3 times a month, and only 3-5 beers. I'm actually trying the keto diet right now. Rome wasn't built in a day. I'm kind of off and on with my exercising, but I try. My wife thinks I'm doing a lot better.
But cigarettes. I seriously haven't even missed them. My breathing, my blood pressure, everything is SO much better since kicking those stupid things.
PS, my eye got 100% better within a few months of trying to get healthy.