My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me in March. It’s all my fault that we broke up too. I cheated and lied to her numerous times and she kept putting up with it. She dismissed her suspicions of me cheating and lying as her own insecurities because we were together and seemingly happy for 5 years right? Well she confronted me about all of it in March and I told her all of the truth and it broke her. It’s very hard for me to admit that I’m in the wrong. I’m not sure why but it is. It’s also very hard for me to tell the truth when confronted about my wrongdoings. I have an excuse for everything and I hate it. It’s all reactionary is the best way I can describe it. I also don’t know why I cheated. I do truly love her. She’s beautiful, smart, outgoing, talented, just everything you could ever want in a girlfriend and for some reason it was never enough for me. I can sit here and blame it all on my upbringing and although what I dealt with growing up was traumatic and messed me up psychologically, it still feels like an excuse to me. Since we broke up she’s got another boyfriend in college but she and I still see each other on the weekends and when she’s on break from school and I’m really really trying hard to fix myself and make myself a better person for her and for myself. I understand that it more than likely won’t end up with us being together again but really I just want her to see that I can change and be a better person. The phrase “You don’t know what you got until it’s gone” is 100% true.