I've got mild depression, PTSD, as well as OCD which stems from my Tourettes syndrome.
The depression for me is like a cloud. I'm always lost in this haze of emotion that I can't really describe. It's numbness and sadness mixing together. I feel like I'm constantly searching for something but I never really know what. I read books, listen to music, and spend hours lost in memories trying to find whatever it is that I'm looking for because it's the only places I know where to look. Dwelling on dark thoughts and questions.
Any burst of excitement drains me emotionally and after an excited outburst I feel miserable. I feel like I was faking the whole thing. Like I was lying to myself and wasn't really excited even though I was. If I'm with a really good friend the hazy feeling may go away for a bit but as soon as I have a burst of excitement I'm dragged right back down into the loneliness I usually feel.
The PTSD - I spend hours reliving my memories. Good or bad. But usually bad. I remember all the things I said, all the things people did to me, I blame myself for a lot of what happened even if most of it wasn't my fault. I can't stand anyone who looks, sounds, or acts like my brother. No matter how nice they are they just sicken me to look at them. I get nightmares where I either wake up crying or wake up screaming.
The OCD is mostly related to my tics. I've got a lot of physical tics where things have to feel a certain way. If I get a tickle in my arm I have to get it in the same spot on the other arm. I'll do movements over and over trying to get that certain feeling before I can't handle it and have a mini breakdown because it doest feel the way I need it to. I also recemtly developed a new tic that's obsessive breathing. The more stressed I am the less I can talk. I take breath after breath after breath. I can hardly get two words out before I fall back into the breathing pattern. Sometimes I cry because I want so badly to talk but my tics make it impossible because I HAVE to take another breath. And another. And another. Any stress tends to make my tics act up.
Sorry for any typos. I'm on mobile.