I'm coming up on 30 and I've manage to make substantial progress in my life in the past couple years, accomplishing many long-standing goals I've had and put myself in a good enough position to where future goals seem realistic and attainable; all of which except for one, to find love (as cheesy as that sounds). But the reason I feel like that is so unrealistic is that the past few years I've been committed to this path to better myself; and all the accomplishments I've made since reinforces the belief that I am on the right path and I'm completely infatuated with the fact that I get feel this way now. But in that commitment and having such reaffirmations of my decision to develop myself, I'm afraid that I'm finding myself growing more and more disinterested in getting to know a person too deep, especially after investing so much time getting to know myself. Compounded with that also is that I acknowledge that I'm going to be continually growing, so I become disillusioned to the idea of a long lasting relationship where both people grow together because I don't believe two separate, individual beings will undergo the same process and pace of growth. And all this is a huge shame to me because I grew up with a deep reverence for romantic love and dreams grandeur of having such in life. Having said that, I can and have accepted that romantic love isn't a guarantee in life (much less an ever-lasting one) and I'm ok with that as I have myself to keep myself company, but I would be lying if I said I don't feel some sadness about it sometimes when the thought arises.

TLDR: I have intimacy issues, HA.