I didn't get any of the normal instincts. I have no desire to procreate, no wish for immortality or even remembrance. I love kids, and anywhere I go they always pick me out as the adult who will play with them. I really enjoy kids, and I taught Sunday School for years. But I never had any desire for my own. I wasn't opposed to the idea of having children; I sort of nothinged it.
My wife has never wanted anything more than to be a mother. I love her more than life itself, and she is the culmination of most of my worldly desires, so it's my life's mission to care for her in every way. So we have two kids, and being a good husband, I nurtured and cared for her through every step of the way.
I didn't really like either baby. Men talk about how they gaze in their child's eyes for the first time, and their entire world shifts? Nope. Just another baby to me.
But they're my babies, my responsibility, and if I'm going to do this father thing, I'm going to do it right. Not because of any biological urge to make more of me. I honestly don't care what my kids become, although I'm aiming for courageous, strong, wise, honest, and caring. They can love everything I don't care about and hate everything I love, and it won't bother me, because I don't care if the world has more of me in it.
All that said, man...now that they're a few years old, and we've had time to get to know each other, I get an idiotic grin on my face just thinking about them. We have a ball together, and I'm filled with joy when I can pull them onto my lap and bury my face in between them in a giant hug. I love cuddling them, I love wrestling with them, I love watching them grow and do things I didn't think they could do yet. I don't really love the tantrums and whining, but that's a small price. I love watching my little girl call me out on my BS when I try to feed her misinformation. I love when they gobble up my food and tell me I'm the best cooker ever. I love watching them care for other people and learn about generosity and compassion. I love holding them down and drawing mustaches on their faces.
I guess it's horrible that I don't care if they're my kids. I don't love them because they're a continuation of my family. I love them because they're awesome. I love them for what they are, and for everything that they might become. I just hope that if they ever find out that I didn't care about the kids thing, they'll be wise enough to realize that it doesn't mean I'm faking my love. Just that it comes from a more pure source, without expectations or pressure.