I either blame everyone else for my problems or blame every single problem on me and there is no in between. I have a hard time noticing a lot of social nuances so I find it genuinely hard to figure out if I've done something wrong. It's hard to gauge sometimes.

I'm trying to take responsibility more often, but it's hard to know the appropriate timing or measure I guess. I don't people well. I'm absolutely terrible to try and be friends with because I am exceptionally introverted. I literally could spend the rest of my life happily without contact with other people. I love my friends and I'm very lucky to have very understanding friends.

I'm also uncharacteristically crabby because my autoimmune disease is hard to manage, so I tend to lash out. I genuinely don't feel like a very good person overall.

I can't let go of the past. I'm triggered easily because of a lot of past trauma. Generally I'm hard to hang out with because I don't talk.

Red flags? I don't want friends. Like I want to keep the ones I have, I'm not saying I don't want ANY. I'm just not a good friend. I try to be. I fall short because I don't know how to act a lot. I don't know how to be a very good friend, but it's something I'm working on with my therapist.