I know how you feel, I was around 16-17 when I was severely depressed. I was harming myself while having a mental breakdown, my dad comes into my room… screams in my face and shoves me into the closet door. Even when I was younger he would prevent me from leaving the house when I was upset while smirking. There’s been times as recently as me being 19-20 when he ended up shoving and pinning me to the ground because of out of hand screaming matches. I’m not going to act like I’m a saint but I’m also not going to act like I never wanted a supportive father that would just be loving instead of a narcissistic “my way or the Highway” type of father. Once I move out and have my license I won’t be talking to him, simple. I’ve tried to forgive him many times, and he always blames it on me. Maybe It is me, but I won’t be able to heal until once I’m out of this fucking house.