Time to use my throwaway account again I guess. I see tons of posts here of depressed people going nowhere with their lives. I'm one of the prime examples of this sorry breed as well I guess. I'm in my early 30s without a job, still living @ home with my mother, didn't have a girlfriend in more than 10 years I'm depressed & anxious, slowly but surely I'm beginning to lose all my friends to family life of their own, I quite literary have nothing to my name. In this past year since I quit my shitty job things seemed to be going in the right direction, I finished all my exams for associates degree in a technical field & more importantly calmed my mind down. Previous job's pay was shit plus I used quite a lot of my money to support my father who is quite a notorious alcoholic & addict with plenty of associated mental problems of his own. He moved away this past year as well and while I still try to help him in any way I can his absence in the small community I live in relived me of quite a big burden of shame - no more dealing with police & authorities on his behalf. That's all great and all, but as the June is coming close (I have to finish my degree by that time and start looking for a job) it started to dawn on me that my (modest) education isn't worth shit without work experience which I don't have (reason for it being that I really couldn't get an internship during my schooling because they're usually not paid where I live - but I really needed money so that I pretty much bribed my old man with booze which was infinitely better than him stealing from others in town). It's gonna be tons of fun when I finish my education & I run out of excuses at home for not having a job. If I put all that aside, the reason for not having a gf is that I'm impotent due to arterial causes since I was 19 and it's untreatable aside from implant (I've been to top urologists in country so I know this for a fact). Good thing that I have terrible problems with abscesses on my ass which just don't cease that are disgusting & embarrassing enough I wouldn't dare to get naked in front of anyone, the least of all any female (my ass looks like it got shot with 12 gauge at point blank range, bad enough to make my dermatologist cringe - true story :-) )even if I was Priapus. So no family life for me any time soon or quite possibly ever. Yeah,things sure are looking grim, I started having terrible headaches again which wake me up almost every night again after they were gone for almost a year (I know they're due to stress). The sad part is that I actually know what life is like on the other side of the fence, because I lived it up to my late teens & then everything went to shit in few short years . I could go on and on, but I made giant wall of text as it is. Tl;dr : not all stories have a happy ending. I guess we just have to deal with that. Atop of that I wrote word shit quite a few times.