The day I noticed how lonely I'm am and how no having friends was really hurting me.

You start to stop calling your classmates friends even though you have fun with them mostly because you are alone 99% of time, you stop giving a fuck about everything, your motivation is below zero, and when there's an issue that makes you sad or multiple ones things get worse.

Being alone means that don't have the courage to do the things other have done because you are just an awkward depressed stupid guy or girl that is walking up to a place and coming back home like you just completed a task on a videogame. Most of the time you are in your home doing whatever so you can't be called an adult because you know nothing about life, you didn't try anything out of your confort zone because that's something you usually do with... guess what? Exactly, friends.

But it doesn't end there, there's the constant reminder of it. People notice that your phone doesn't buzz or vibrate and ask “what the fuck, you got no friends?” or you open your messages app while is glancing your phone's screen until you hear “You have very few conversations there” or a similar comment.

And no, these comments weren't made by assholes, imagine the most friendly person from your class saying it because that's reality for you. They are still great people and I can convince you about it, this is just reality giving you a punch.

It's painful, and it's gonna be forever like this since then.