For me it was the realisation that i should completely disconnect morality from my goals. I changed "Right vs Wrong" to "Works vs Doesn't Work"

This allowed me to turn from a complacent, gaming-addicted, skinny-fat procrastinator who failed miserably in university into an extremely fit, tri-lingual, thrill-seeking, self-realising person who is now passing every course i'm taking, in just over a year. My grades have been constantly increasing and i'm even starting to cash in A's now.

I made a sub, /r/apotheoun, and if you browse my posts there you'll pretty much read a diary of self-realisations i've made during this last year that have helped me grow to what i am today.

When it comes to improving yourself, there is a lot of people who talk about right or wrong. "Don't judge others, your competition is yourself, don't compare yourself to others. Think positive!"

But for me, none of those things ever worked. And because i kept trying them, by being told it was the way to go, i got nowhere in life. Instead of embracing what actually worked for me, i tried to put it away in favour of the "Right" way.

In the end what got me to start studying and passing exams was not a desire to pass exams. It was a desire to not be the kind of guy who failed them. A desire to not be a loser. To not look like a loser. I let the perceived judgement from others, as well as my judgement of others push me to work towards my goals, and it worked.

People often tell others what's possible and what isn't. I always loved to prove these people wrong, and i embraced it. I read about people who would want to watch me fail, determined to prove them wrong.

People often have a desire to be special, i accepted that and started to actually work towards it.

I got fit not only because i wanted to be stronger, but because i didn't want to be part of the people who got fat and lazy. Because i had a desire to simply be better than others. I would go out in rains and snowstorms, because i knew that this is where others gave up. I allowed myself to be vain and not try to hide my desire to look good.

I started keeping my apartment tidy and clean, because i didn't want to be like those filthy people who couldn't. I wanted to be better than them.

I would browse self-improvement subs, not only to learn things but also to learn how not to do things by watching people repeat mistakes and not listen to advice given to them. I would stop arguing with people online, because i didn't want to be the same kind of obnoxious jackass that i saw in others who did the same.

I started actualising my dreams and goals because i didn't want to be one of those people who grow old filled with regret. I read articles about the "Most common regrets on your death-bed" and would feel a surge in desire to act, so that i would never be like those people. And i did.

I embraced the concept of my own mortality, the inevitability of death and the constantly battle against the ticking clock to remind me to not waste time. My own insignificance in the world also meant that my own life had so much more value to me, because it is all about me in the end. My dreams, my goals. The fact that your life doesn't mean anything is liberating and allows you to pursue your dreams because you know you either do it no matter what or you die missing the opportunity.

Instead of patting myself on the back whenever i failed and comforting myself, i would allow myself to feel horrible and dismissed people who tried to make me feel better by coming with excuses. I failed. It doesn't matter why, because i did and i'm the only one who could have prevented it. I let this shitty feeling serve as a reminded to myself of why i don't want to fail. I have responsibility for my own life, end of story.

And now, i feel more alive than i ever have. It doesn't matter if i did it the "Wrong" way, or if my methods makes people dislike me because it worked for me and have allowed me to finally live the life that i want and i have never negatively impacted anyone else. I learned from their mistakes and their failures, and it made me stronger and better than ever.

I'm doing things that most people only talks about, i look great, my work and study performance is great. All because i stopped caring about what was right or wrong, and simply focused on what worked for me. Why is simply irrelevant. What matters is the results.

You know the people who talked about how FatPeopleHate got them to lose weight? It doesn't matter what you think of their motivation. It doesn't matter if you think it was vain or self-hatred, because they lost the weight and you didn't. They won, they just didn't do it your way.

TL;DR: I stopped caring about what was morally right or wrong when it came to improving myself, and only focused on what worked for me.