Just to explain the 3 doctors:
1st one - keep prescribing brand new meds that were not at all covered by my insurance. I'm talking 1k for one month.
2nd one - I told both doctors that I used to be on Prozac Weekly. That I was fine with it, and only stopped due to insurance running out. Both ignored that and gave me their own prescriptions. This guy gave me Lamictal. I tried to take it and honestly, I don't remember pills daily. I've always had a huge problem with that, since I was a child. (I was a sick kid, always had to take meds my whole life, always been a fight to remember any kind of daily meds) I tried to tell him that and explained several examples of attempts I made at remembering and he kept talking over me. He wouldn't listen and so I asked him to let me finish a sentence at least, he was not letting me talk - he interrupted that by telling me that when he came to get me from the waiting room, I was on my phone texting. Yes, while waiting, I was texting and I wrapped it up during the long walk down the hallway, but it was in my pocket before the appointment started. Either way, he didn't acknowledge my issue and instead, decided to attack me? I walked out, crying - a huge mess. I left but came back, took a deep breath, and asked the receptionist if there was another doctor I could see. I didn't feel okay with that one. She was really nice to me, because I was clearly upset and trying to hold it together, and said she'd see what she could do.
3rd one - They called me back that day and said someone could see me the next week. I was grateful and showed up early (as usual, I used to work for doctors, I know how annoying it is to have late patients) and definitely did not have my phone out. I wanted to make sure everything would be okay. Well, he asked me what happened at the last appointment, and I made the huge mistake of telling him what happened. He started doing the same interrupting and cold stare bullshit as the last doctor. So I'm not proud of this but I freaked out and figured no one would believe me again about how these people talk to me, so I started to record the appointment. He got really angry and said that he would refuse to be recorded. He said he wouldn't explain, and so I "turned it off." I just wanted it for my own peace of mind, not for courts or anything. So he asked me why I wanted to record this, and I said that because sometimes people don't believe me when I say things happen a certain way. That they think I am exaggerating and whatnot. He then said that he refuses to see me. Flat out. I pleaded with him asking why he was suddenly deciding that. He said that I was too difficult and that he wouldn't help me. I said I was obviously experiencing emotional issues and suffering that;s why I was here, to seek relief. And he just stared at me and stared at me.
I pictured that he talked to the other doctor, because again, I've worked for doctors, they fucking do that, laws be damned. So I was leaving the room but walked back in and exclaimed to him to shred my files. (My recording was still running) I dunno I guess that was also too much for him and he told me that he was going to call the cops on me - and place me in a two week hold. I literally can hear him say this in the recording. A threat for a two week hold makes no sense since they are 72 hour holds only.
I'm sad I can't do shit with the recording but I played it for my therapist. She said I didn't do anything wrong - I was insistent but I wasn't being threatening or anything. She said he was unethical. Even now I still feel like I must be making more of it than it was. That my emotions ran high because they just do. Or that I deserved to be treated like that immediately. That no one can help me.
I've called other offices to find another doctor but no one has called me back. I don't know what to do.
I don't trust that anyone is really in it. That anyone actually fucking cares or can help me.
Like, if I can't jump through the proper hoops, tough shit for me, buh bye.