It's not about the surgery, it's about the huge lack of communication.

OP thought that SHE did something wrong, hence her bf refused to spend Christmas with her. Can you imagine how she felt? This isn't normal. What normal, healthy person lets their partner believe that it's THEIR fault that they have to spend Christmas without their SO?

Srsly, insecurities are one thing, if they have such a huge negative impact on your life that you have to hide stuff from your SO and let them suffer as well, it's time for counseling.

The fact that OP's bf is this dismissive about her feelings is a red flag.

It doesn't matter if you've been together for 2 years or a decade. A lack of communication is a dealbreaker.