When I was 5, my entire family came over. Aunts, uncles, cousins, there were probably something like 30 people over. We used to be very close, all of us. The adults were watching a movie downstairs and the kids were all over the house playing. My 14 y/o cousin said he wanted to go to my parents room to play. Where he proceeded to perform oral sex on me. He kept asking me if it felt good. "COME ON SAY IT." I had no idea what any of it meant. I did not like it. My sister and grandmother eventually walked in on it happening. Neither told my parents. My parents ended up finding out because I told my other older sister. Remember, I was 5. I didn't know this was out of the norm. So they covered it up. And they still try to cover it up. It has shamed THEM. Can you believe it? And it's taking it's toll on me.

This election, my family were secretive about who they were going to vote for. Last night, after the result was revealed, my brother, my most angelic, kind, loving brother told me he voted for Trump. My sister (the very same sister) told me she also voted for Trump. I have never felt so hopeless in all my life. I sobbed last night. I woke up and sobbed all morning. My face is so puffy right now. I look and feel terrible. They kept telling me that I'm being too emotional, taking this too personally, that I have to see the bigger picture. They asked me, am I going to let this come between the relationship I have with them?

Honestly? Today? I say yes. I have PTSD and a slew of emotional disorders because of that childhood incident. THEY DONT UNDERSTAND. I literally do not know what to do next :(

(I am grown up now, have been in therapy for a while. I know eventually I'll be ok. Humans are fucking resilient.)