Right now:

Mike's new mother-in-law - a portly woman whose home decorating taste is best described as 'Country Farmhouse via Walmart'- has called her daughter three times in the last 24 hours sobbing. About the rabbit, about how lonely Sheila must be while Mike is at the office all night... After all, Sheila spent half her honeymoon on her OWN, on her own! Her friends can't believe it. Mike's fingers keep brushing over a portion of his scalp that seems smoother than normal.

Lisa has walking pneumonia and PID, the latter a result of her using sexual conquests as a means of distracting after the boutique PR firm she tried to abscond to refused to return her calls. When Richard from Logistical sent her the pictures of the rabbit she was snacking on carrots because the specialist told her she was lacking in vitamins. She is still recovering from her choking fit.

Dave had been putting together a campaign plan for a pro bono launch. A permanent department created to fulfil the sole purpose of doing good. It was designed to put goodwill in the bank for later. He is currently shredding the first print out of this plan because there are tear stains on the section outlining the new animal welfare policy and animal welfare officer he was proposing.

Tiffany, the department receptionist is texting boyfriend Randy because his friend Rahat is coming over tonight and Rahat usually has good shrooms. And Randy had better do all the compensating because she was not the fucktard that totalled the car after spilling Dr. Pepper on their lap as they listened to Bill Burr on CD. She is sad about the rabbit.

Roberta the cleaning lady is at home (downtown) making a cake for her daughter's birthday. She is shaking her head as the anchorman from Canal Quince goes over the depressing details of the rabbit's demise. She knows when she goes to work tonight she will be vacuuming up more of the boss's hair, it's funny... It's almost the same shade as Big Simon's.