3. Someone else is using MY toilet at work.

Someone else is using MY toilet at work.

Well, let's do a quick back of the envelope calculation.

First, approximate the number of work days. We are going to assume that OP is a regular Joe working 9-5, 5 days a week. There's 52 weeks in a year, so that's 260 days. Assume OP is American which means around 10-15 weekdays that are holidays that he or she gets off. Assume another 10-15 days off for vacation/sick leave/personal days. That brings us to a reasonable lower end estimate of 230 work days.

Now we'll assume that OP eats his or her fiber and only takes a routine post-lunch poop and browse. We all know you're gunning for the handicap stall after lunch so you can enjoy your poop undisturbed and get some reddit browsing done on your phone before you have to go back to your desk and browse reddit in a side window while you have a fake excel file open pretending to do work. Approximate about 10 minutes for the poop, 3 minutes for a thorough wipe, and another 10 minutes for casual browsing of cats, tits, and Josh Gordon news. Total time spent in the bathroom while on the company dollar is approximated at 23 minutes per day.

$2,241/230 days = $9.74 paid to poop per day.

($9.74/23 minutes)*(60 minutes/1 hour) = $25.41 per hour approximate wage.

Judging from OP's username and the fact that we're on reddit, I would guess he is an early level system admin and this is a reasonable approximation of his hourly wage.

In conclusion, OP makes a reasonable salary and takes his time pooping at a leisurely pace combined with some toilet browsing.

You reminded me of this post.

Sorry about it being Americana and all that. But it's relevant.

/r/britishproblems Thread Parent
Previous
Next

Recently removed from /r/britishproblems

When your dream home is now a regular sized 2/3 bed with a garden for the dog There’s a new guy in the office - it’s his second day and we’ve just found out we have identical commutes Shops charging customers to collect items from their premises Collecting a parcel delivered to the neighbour only for them to say "I never took for that" then threatening to punch you Trying to transfer money on a bank phone line, and being asked to input the figure in pence. Finally trying Tony's Chocolate despite the £3 price tag to find it's utterly disappointing Those people who decide its perfectly acceptable to make themselves a coffee and then proceed to make somebody a cup of tea using the same spoon. I've seen folk jailed for less! I'm at the point in the family BBQ where my dad is complaining about the amount of black people appearing in adverts, send help Absolutely loathing the song "Sweet Caroline" Can't sit even in my own garden without smelling weed smoke! Realising that I never got to finish my glow in the dark dinosaur skeleton in the 90s after dutifully buying the magazine every week. Having to sit through a 1.5 hour presentation about the company making record sales and profits, then being told no pay rises this year due to "the financial situation" During a casual chat with a German superior I off handedly mentioned English village life "can be a bit like Royston Vasey" and now I'm afraid she will judge me based on my taste in 90s bizarist television Bus driver watched me sprint for the bus and closed the doors in my face, even though it only meant stopping at a red light a few yards later Having a degree, a masters, volunteered/worked consistently throughout my studies and still getting rejected by entery level (19k starting salary) jobs. This is the norm for graduates but its still gutting.

More Random Comments

Trump's shutdown may cause me to get evicted Regular Check-In Post DIY HRT Jeg tenker om å bli en lærer. Råd? It’s easy to hate Garrett sometimes, but man if he doesn’t love our team. Prayers to Hurns What is the meanest thing a teacher/professor has done to you? Drinking your own water in a café Babycenter Moms are Assholes Between BJP and Dalits, why khichdi is the lowest common denominator What dumb thing did you "get away" with as a kid, but looking back you know your parents knew? TIL that the Nazi Party was particularly fond of decaffeinated coffee, as it saw caffeine as a poison that "threatened the Aryan Race." What qualities do guys like in a pinay? Any dealbreakers or stereotypes? The Aries Woman: I’ve never read anything so on point about the female rams’ personality. In fact, I think astrologers in general would enjoy this. Aries: Let me know if you agree with this text. I’ve read so much but never something as accurate. Would love to hear thoughts from Aries and non Aries. What books do you recommend to really understand the cruelty and associated ideologies of the last century? Which browser do you use, on what distro, and why do you prefer it?