I'd consider myself a dom, and male. I'm happy to talk about kinks openly and I don't think there is a "too soon" - I'll even check for it in the profile and match questions, because it's a pretty big factor in sex for me as well.

But I don't get kinky with people the first few times we have sex. The trust is not there. If you ask me to slap someone I barely know around, yes, I'm going to be super, super hesitant and probably won't do it.

You have to realize that asking a stranger to hit you is a lot "safer" than hitting a stranger just because they asked you to. Leaving aside the whole social and legal consent aspect, it's emotionally much scarier if you make a mistake as a dom, because the role a dom plays and the desires a dom is giving into are much darker in nature. Although technically and morally all parties are equally responsible, submitting emotionally is a release from responsibility... but dominating emotionally means taking responsibility and you might blame yourself endlessly if you make a mistake.

If you want good kink session you have to be willing to do the work of developing a trusting connection with your partner. There are not shortcuts. You don't need to be in a loving relationship, but you do at least need to be good friends.

Verbal knowledge of kink buzzwords means zilch, zip, nada - The concepts which you're referring to as basic working knowledge are just words that the community made up and don't guarantee anything. All that matters is the trust between the partners. You can know absolutely nothing about kink and still be awesome at kink if you understand your partner, and you can talk the talk about safewords and consent and still have a terrible miscommunications.