I know what I am saying is hypocrite, as I am poly myself and having more than one LT SDs. But I don't know, these are arrangements, not love affairs. Can't wrap my head around being in love with someone and still sugar at the same time.

Just can't imagine how a young couple, in what supposedly is a love affair, can be ok with her being the SB of another man? Either it is only for the money and then it is not sugar but sexwork, or there is genuine attraction and caring for her SD, and isn't that even more devastating for BF's selfworth? Or is it a boost for his self esteem that he is getting for free what another man is paying for?

I am married and my husband and I are open but yet very much in love and extremely happy. We are each free to play as we choose and this just happens to be the way I prefer to play.

I haven't had an IRL SD for a few months, but when I did...I felt extremely safe and secure with him, more so than I felt that I would with a younger fwb or ONS, and that makes my husband feel better about where I am and what I'm doing. The genuine attraction and the fact that he (SD) cared about me made it better for my husband. And yes, I think he (hubby) does get off on the fact that he gets the goods for free but mostly I think its that he has the girl other men want. I should also mention that he works incredibly hard every day but isn't able to spoil me the way he would like to, so he enjoys that I am able to benefit from "playing with others" as well. It's sort of the same as I understand he has fetishes I can't fulfill so he finds others to do so, if that makes sense.

Just wanted to speak up and say that a relationship can still be very healthy and include sugaring :)