I went blind in my right eye for no reason. When I got the emergency room some guy was sort out some problem with not having insurance. I remember thinking this is an opportunity for me to learn patience. So I waited for my turn. I got to the lady at the counter and put my id and health insurance card down saying I went blind in my right eye. There were forty people in the waiting room but in about 2 minutes I heard the nurse ask me to go in. I made a joke when the eye doctor on call came. I put the hand over my eye and said don't worry doc if you can't save it Arrrr! I'll be a pirate. We kept making jokes. He asked what had being going on. I said someone threatened me with a bullshit lawsuit and I had been rushing to find a lawyer who specializes in intellectual property law and hadn't slept in 3 nights getting all my emails, voice mails, code, and everything else in order. He made a joke about Oh I know all about that I'm a doctor we get sued all time. It went on and on. I remember thinking about the guy in the next room to me because I heard the doctors and freaking out. They were calm when interacting with me and I later learned that was my chart room. It was me they were worried about. I had brain surgery after the second cat scan. Totally conscious in the ICU surround by hot nurses, I asked one Is it wrong if I text my friends saying how hot all the nurses are? She said it would wrong if I didn't. The ophthalmologist came in the next morning to check up on me. Holding up his middle finger he asked how my fingers he had up. I said fuck you too

It's so important in the face of death to have humor. The spirit of Hamlet is always with me. There is that moment in the play before he was facing his certain death he is in the graveyard holding up poor Yorik's skull, the court jester, making jokes I had a dissection of the right carotid artery. I was perfectly healthy, rarely drank, didn't use drugs, didn't smoke, didn't have diabetes, sure I was under stress but my blood pressure was normal.

I'm really lucky. I read a story of a model and mom who went to the hospital with all the symptoms I had last week. They let her go home and she had a stroke. I was really lucky because someone decided to not let me go home and do a second cat scan. I'm going to die from cancer for all the radiation but fuck it I'm the music while the music lasts.

The ICU is the best place to be making jokes.