You know what, now that I'm in a cooler state of mind, I have to (gently) call you out a little bit on this thread, /u/zel606. I really walked away from some of the things you said upset at the general attitude of your words- the way it feels like you need to rub things in, even though you should know darn well enough from the context that I'm not walking away and that only pushes me to the wall. And don't worry that I know those attitudes exist sometimes in frum communities- I already know.

I talked to a rabbi I respect heavily in my community (who I unfortunately don't see often) and he urged me to slow down. I'm relocating to a new area and he said that while it's a nice idea to try to think of moving within walking distance to a shul, it's more important to get up there first.

I once was training for a career where I'd have to detect fraud regularly and I learned that one of the marks of a con is the need to "speed things up." "Don't waste an opportunity!" "Let's get it done!"

When Orthodox Jews discourage conversion, (I'd like to think) it isn't just about how hard the mitzvos are or how hard it'll be to get a shidduch or join in. It's also about avoiding having that tendency in the community.

"His job at the start is to discourage you, not take your money." - my rabbi. And that's the comment that tells me who to listen to.

There are serious, real world dangers when you start accusing people who are cautious of not knowing what this life is about just because they're not going to throw money away with the first person who comes around.

Like /u/zionising, my experience in my community is that the converts and BTs are doing fine. I've been showing up for a while without tefillin and no one's concerned themselves about it (at least to my face.) That may vary significantly from your community and that's fine. But let's not scare the heck out of already upset people, please m'kay?