So I am a single parent. When I split up with my children's father I determined to concentrate on my children and not seek to have a relationship with a man. But like anyone else I have needs. So I made a post on reddit where I mentioned that I wished I could have sex with a man without having to have a relationship with him. Someone that I could meet up with every few weeks in a hotel room to have sex and someone kind and caring and who wouldn't expect anything else than sex and cuddles and kisses and that was all.

I eventually replied to someone who seemed to tick all the boxes. He was kind and friendly and polite and respectful and nice. He wasn't sleazy or creepy. He seemed like a nice guy.

After a couple of months of talking online we met up for a weekend together. I was aware that he had one other friend who was a friend-with-benefits but I didn't dwell on that. I was ok with that because all I wanted from him was some attention, some of his time, some sex and kisses and cuddles, mutual respect and no more than that. Just to meet up every few weeks and spend time together kissing and cuddling and having sex. Nothing else.

But his other friend-with-benefits was upset when he met up with someone else. So she told him to choose between being exclusive with her and having a relationship with her or breaking things off with her entirely.

After the weekend that we spent together he told me this. My advice to him was that if he thought it might work then he would be a fool to pass up on that chance. I was only being honest. I would have liked nothing more than to keep seeing him when we had the chance to spend time together, but realistically, he'd be better off to take that chance of having a relationship. I'm not looking for one because I'm a single parent and that's my priority.

I told him this and he agreed. And he agrees with me that we should not remain in contact any more because it wouldn't be appropriate.

But now I just can't stop crying! I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I'm happy for him (I am) or if I'm jealous that he's going to have the chance to be in a relationship and be happy while I'm back being alone and lonely again, or if I'm just feeling sorry for myself because now I'm all alone again with nobody to email every day and no more sex for me!

TIFU. And for some reason I can't stop crying. But I can't even pinpoint the exact reason why I'm crying! I don't know if I'm happy for him or sad for me! Lol.

:(