Sorry for not clarifying - it's 40x annually.

Groceries: they are expensive in my city. I started eating vegetarian to save $ and still end up paying around $150/month (and I'm constantly hungry after a meal...so I stopped going meatless and now I'm between $150-$200/month).

Groceries I can do within my budget, for sure. However the value of groceries is that when you buy something, you can use it for multiple meals. If I buy groceries to cook at his place, I don't like to make a fuss about taking home the leftovers, so there goes $20 for one meal. It doesn't feel very elegant to say "I'm going to take home all the things I bought because I paid for them." I want to be easygoing and not nitpicky...

I understand you wanting to see all sides of the story, but I really want to assure you that I am very careful about my money. I'm not buying extravagant groceries and I spend a great deal of time looking for budget-friendly recipes.

I work for a nonprofit. The fact is that a non-profit job in my field will never be well paid (unless I'm like the director of an institution, and I don't see myself doing that). I have tried working in the same line of work but for a for-profit institution. I tried a couple times. I hated it. If I am spending most of my life working, I shouldn't resent the organization I'm working for or hating every minute of it.

My job pays me exactly what it can allot to do so- down to the cent. I am lucky to have a paid job in this industry at all. I am with a prestigious institution and I believe this position will look good on my resume and it affords me a great chance to learn the skills required for my next career step.

You are right that the communication could actually be more clear and direct. I have avoided talking about money because it makes me so uncomfortable. I'm afraid that any conversation about my financial strains will make it sound like I am begging. But I would like to know his actual thoughts about this and try to figure out something more realistic than the situation right now. I don't know how to bring up the topic without making it sound like I'm trying to manipulate him.