3. [TT] The date of the Apocalypse finally arrives, but the Antichrist is a no show...

[TT] The date of the Apocalypse finally arrives, but the Antichrist is a no show.

"The end is nigh!"

"Look, look you're right. The end IS here, but we can't damn you."

"What? Why not? Not good enough to damn am I?"

"Well...it's not that..."

"I'll have you know I kicked an old lady the other day. Didn't even feel a little bit guilty. Went to the church to confess. Didn't do my hail Mary's."

"Yes, well. You're clearly damnable. I mean I know I'd damn you."

"I straight up stole candy from a baby. And not like I was playing around or anything. Fucking stole it straight from the baby. Walked up, looked the baby square in the eyes and stole the candy."

"Yes, yes. You're clearly damnable. But we just weren't expecting you so gosh darn early."

"Gosh darn? What the fuck is going on here?"

"He's not ready. It's plenty work getting the Antichrist ready and he was expecting more fires and less floods. Quite frankly he's just not interested in damning all of you."

"But I'm bad! Really really bad. I once knicked some money out of my dying grans purse!"

"Doesn't matter. Global warming isn't the right time."

"Hail Satan?"

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