Story time!

My mother, like any Indian girl, was raised in a same mannerism. She was 10 when her family shifted to Bombay. Now, I must say that though she studied Commerce, she used to read her friend's sociology, psychology books. She read a lot of philosophical stuff related to our culture, Geeta, Dyaneshvari, and shit tonnes of books on the Indian history. Heck, she even cracked her CA exam in the very first attempt.

She was always a rebel. Yet, her parents forced her into marriage. She liked a guy at work but he wanted her to learn more and be a professional lady intead of a housewife. It took only 16 months and a baby (i.e. me) to realise that the marriage was a cheat. Her family abandoned her since she wasn't their property anymore (she wasn't working this time). The same friend of her got her back, she joined another company, got promotions, appraisals and of course respect. This entire journey took a lot of years.

She knew her family. Heck, she knows everyone very well. She made me question everything, all the rituals, customs of our culture, from 'why sing Shubham karoti' at evenings to Gudipadava. When I couldn't get any answers, she would find herself and tell me. I had to spend a lot of my time in daycare, hostel but I knew that it's all for the greater good. In a way, she did take me for granted but that's how it works, right?

When I fell in love for the very first time, I was dead scared to tell her because well, it's not allowed to talk about it either. Yet, when I did tell her, instead of going batshit, she told me that this is the age for live and stuff and you must make your boundaries. It was the most sensible talk I ever had. Luckily for me, my SO's parents also turned out to be like her. Thy supported us and now we are married for 5 years (dated for 7 ears before).

This all might seem a happy ending, but she had to face a lot of shit. Thus, the narcissistic Indian society.

First, as soon as the marriage broke off, her parents wanted her to get re married because 'name of the family will get banished'. Plus, my aunts couldn't stand that a woman can be on her own. They all disowned her.

She let me choose whatever I want. At the same time, she didn't raise a brat. I was always told that everything comes with a value and I must respect it.

After getting her first job, she spent money for her brother's education, none of which supported her when she was alone with a child because she might turn into those 'annoying bua'.

No one showed up to our Satyanarayan Pooja (from our family) of our home which she bought on her own, without loan. Now, she manages all the travel expense of my grand mother yet she never stays her even for a day.

Now all this stuff made me mad during my teen years, which was obvious, but she would say, if I treat them like they treat us, there won't be any difference between at all.

Now, after all these years, she bought a piece of land at my native village and a NA plot. Suddenly, everyone has changed their attitude. Now everyone's like, what are you gonna do with it?

But this is what she is going to do now. She has like 2-3 years left for her job. Though she doesn't need to earn anymore, she is working and training her juniors. And once she is done with it, she going to take the vaanprastashram. Not literally in the jungles, but she wants to live alone, raising them buffaloes, chicken, and be a farmer. She says she'll never interfere with my personal matters because she was born only to give me birth, show me a path and help to take the initial steps. Once I learn it, she will leave my hand because it's my life and it's different than hers.

When she told this to all my family, everyoywas shocked. My granny was like to, you are not doing that. But, now I think I know why my mother would say that. My granny has four well earning kids, she gets pension, everything is fine yet she has BP issues, sugar problems, and not Because of diet, but because her behaviour. Watching all those stupid serials have made her go insane. She will behave as if all her daughter in law are plotting murder against her. She chose to live in 12x12 room in Mumbai, alone. Never visits us, goes to my elder uncle, but it doesn't bother me. It's her choice.

But, for my mom, I can truly say that it all comes with a price. She spent most of her promising years building up a home for me and now that I am all set, she doesn't want anything from me. All she wants to live a life for myself, and be a better person.

This is the same outcome of the narcissistic society, but hardly anyone stands out.