Hey man, my dad is the same way. Army man, thick skinned, thinks that I couldn't possibly be depressed because "what do you have to be depressed about?". He's a liar, and has manipulated me and the rest of my family for almost all of my life, and only in the last few years have I really connected the dots. He treated my brother like shit because he's not his son (half brother, guy left my mom), he would call him names and fuck with him all the time. I don't really understand my thought process at the time and what I really thought about all of that, I thought it was normal to fuck with people like that it really fucked me up when I realized that my dad was really just an asshole.

I've had anxiety and depression starting from middle school onwards, starting around the same time my biological parents got divorced. My dad manipulated me into choosing to live with him over my mom. When I've come to him with my issues in my darkest hours, the only advice I received on the situation was the toughen up.

My dad is a fucking hypocrite. He acts like people can't be depressed, but I know that he takes Lexapro (an SSRI/Antidepressant) and busiprone (an anti anxiety medication). I've theorized that he hides his own mental anguish behind his work and his lies, but I've got no real proof to that, and I'm not really looking to justify his behavior.

Anybody can be a parent pretty much, and some people in this world are just really shitty and don't deserve to be parents because often times they just end up fucking up someone like you's life. I started getting help from a therapist at my university's psychological center, and he's really helped me think through my issues and face them head on rather than repressing them and hiding them behind a wall of drugs and especially weed. I'm fucked mentally beyond belief, but only in the past year have I really gained faith in that changing. I'm becoming my own person as I continue to grow up and face the realities of life, I don't have time to be dealing with this bullshit lest it hold me back from my true potential. And I promise you man, behind all your anxiety, all your sadness, is a wonderful person who just wants to live life for what it is. You just need to reach that person and become one with him.

I hope you find peace much the way I do.