Wish I could make any decisions for myself without my mom having an emotional breakdown for not making the choice she wants me to make.

My extended family is having a big get-together/vacation thing in a cabin for three days for Christmas. We usually just get together for a few hours on Christmas Eve so this is a big change for this year, and I'm really not into it.

Big groups things aren't my thing, I tend to clam up and it's really hard for me to feel like myself, even around family. And three days of it is an absolute overload for me. I also saw this as an opportunity to stay home and get some much needed "me time" because I'm introverted and haven't had a bedroom for over three years and I feel like I'm slowly fucking dying from human exposure. I would also be missing three days of work and as someone not very well off, I can't afford to.

Does my mom respect my decision to sit this one get-together out for the first time in my life? Of course not! She just gets angry about how "this isn't how I raised you to be", and that I'm being selfish, and how she "never gets to be alone so why should I get to?" despite the fact that she has a bedroom but "that isn't the same thing" and she occasionally kicks me and my siblings out of the house for hours so she can hook up with her FWB.

Then she got really upset when I said that we spend too much time around each other and then started adding up all the hours we aren't together(work, sleep, time she spends in her room) like it's supposed to convince me I'm wrong. A break apart would be healthy, but apparently spending time with family is the most important thing to spend your time doing and if you don't you're just selfish and wrong.