TL;DR of last
Wife + best friend + myself have threesome. Our baby wakes mid-act and I leave to put him back to sleep. They continue to what I assume was completion. I do not return to the room. Left early morning. Have not spoken to him, messaged wife once. What to say to either of them? HELP!!
Edit1: Spoke with friend. Confirmed that they continued having sex after I left the room. He was confused / hurt about the whole thing too.
Edit2: Sent wife a "please leave me alone for now" message
Edit3: Wife sent a "sorry, are you coming home soon" message.
Firstly I want to get through the credits;
Thank-you to the ridiculous amount of people offering support and advice. I woke up this morning with a sore head and about 500 unread messages...
Few people have tried to guess my identity from my age - I'm not going to give that away (for the record - no-one has been correct yet).
To the people abusing me for being spineless, weak, cuckold, all of these or worse; it's not hard to be a keyboard warrior. I may be going through temporary pain that allows you to feel like you're finally better than someone, but it is just that, temporary. In all this, I still feel sorry for you.
I left the last post with a few comments that I was going to try email Bella to get her version of events. I am not doing this because I am weak and don't think I can speak to her face to face, I am doing this because I don't want my emotions to cloud my judgement. It is easier done when reading it rather than hearing it. If my wife really is as manipulative as some people have suggested, I don't doubt her ability to further cloud a situation by being overly emotional.
I sent this to Bella after her last text message to me;
I really don't want to speak face to face with you just yet about what happened. It is all still way too fresh in my mind. You don't have to agree with that, frankly I don't care, but if you want us to have any chance of fixing this then you need to respect it. I want you to take some time and write down the entire night's events as you remember them... I know it will be hard for you to write this, it will be harder for me to read it, but I need to know all of the details if I am to have any chance to move past this and stay with you. I know you might be thinking this is just a misunderstanding, and that it might all blow over in time. This has gone way, way past that level for me. At this point I am feeling betrayed and insecure about everything.
I need you to be honest in what you write and I want to know why you felt the need to do what we did with John. This is the second chance, there will be no third. Please be honest with me, no matter how much you think it may hurt me.
I sent that off and received a response about a minute later that was just "okay, I will, I love you."
I fell back into my bottle and was passed out before I received her actual response. The email came in at around 1am local time for me, her response is more or less copy pasted below;
I am so, so sorry for putting us in this situation. I have been a mess since I found you gone in the morning, I know that this is my fault and that I have a lot to atone for. I only hope that what I tell you now helps to mend some of that damage.
Everyone started drinking at our house once they had arrived. As the night drew on I started to think more and more about our conversation the night before.
I admit to flirting a bit heavier than normal with John and I think Sarah (best friend - hers) noticed and she pulled me aside and told me to go easy on the wine. I tried to tone it down from there but as I drank more it became harder and harder.
Once everyone had left you and I had our discussion at the staircase. I had tunnel vision at that point, I wanted what I wanted (I am so sorry). I went upstairs and got undressed.
I came back downstairs and started trying to initiate things with John.
When (baby) started crying and you went to take care of him, I started getting physical with John. I could see he was shocked at what was happening, he looked around for you, started saying things like what the fuck Bella?! when I explained the situation to him. He wasn't unwilling but I could see he was nervous.
We started kissing and touching each other for a little while and that is when you walked back downstairs and saw us.
When we took it upstairs I was feeling happy I had what I wanted, I wasn't thinking about anyone else. I lost myself in the moment until (baby) started crying again. When I asked you to tend him again I truly thought you would come straight back, we should have stopped and waited for you to come back. I have no excuse for why we didn't except for the fact that I didn't want to at the time... I am so sorry Throwaway46133.......
John mentioned that we should stop, he tried to but I didn't let him... I honestly thought you were coming right back... I should have stopped it all right then! I would give anything to go back and change it.
We continued after that, after a while I lost track of time. When I next looked at a clock when we were done, I realized that more than an hour had passed without you coming back. I came and found you in (baby's) room and put a blanket over you. I went back to bed. John had passed out and I fell asleep next to him in our bed.
Nothing else happened between John and I. John woke me up in the morning and told me he could not find you, he looked concerned. I looked for you and found your text message. Those are my memories of yesterday as best I can recall.
You asked for honesty about why I felt like doing what I asked of you... I feel hideous after giving birth to (baby). It's almost like overnight I went from a size 6, 23 year old confident woman to being this bloated, tired mother. I look in the mirror and I don't see Bella I just see (baby's) mum! I know you did your best to reassure me that nothing had changed but nothing seemed to make a difference. The only thing that did was when John started complimenting me... I don't know, I guess I knew deep down that you would always desire me no matter what. It felt amazing to know someone else still found me desirable... I know it's childish, that is how I felt...
I would never go behind your back, with anyone, ever. I have never and will never cheat on you with anyone. I used you to get to John though. I don't know what I thought I would gain from it. I can tell you now that I wish I had never done it because I feel no better and in fact a whole lot worse about myself, at least the soul matches the body now.
I know you will probably never be able to forgive me for what I have done. I won't lie and say that it won't crush me if this stupid, idiotic decision costs me your love and you in my life. I lost sight of that, this is my fault and I will carry the burden of whatever this costs me. I am so, so sorry that I have done this to you. To our family.
I love you so much.
Please come home...
I haven't even been able to digest this. There are certainly some contradictions from John's story, and definitely a lot less detail about what happened. I still have questions but she seems remorseful about it. I still don't know if that is enough.
Fuck it. I don't know what to think and at this point I can't be fucked. I have read this email over two dozen times and I'm still numb...
I don't know how to move forward or if I want to at this point. I'm gonna check out of this for a while and see what others think, emotionally I AM FUCKING SPENT.
tl;dr: Apology / explanation email from the wife. Wants me to come back home to talk. I'm spent.