To answer your question about how things might change for your situation...

This is where it is difficult. I don't want to project my situation onto yours. I also recognize you may have heard things you want to hear from Frances, which colored the way you told your story.

But if you did hear her correctly, and she literally said things like you were the type of guy she wanted when she was younger, I have a feeling you have probably got her to start thinking about her choices in life.

If she really did settle for Dan (which she may be just now admitting to herself), I think your admission of feelings may weigh on her. She may start recognizing there are other options in life than what she has chosen. She was spending so much time with you... given what I went through and what I know of people, I just think there's more to this story. You just don't spend that much time with your husband's friends and share so many intimate, vulnerable conversations simply because you want them to like you as a friend.

But I'm reluctant to get your hopes up, because she is not me. Take her at her word until she gives you reason to believe otherwise - if she says she's happy with Dan, believe her. Work on getting over your crush.

Also, a heads up - I will probably delete these comments at some point because of how personal they are. Make copies for yourself if you think they're worth reflecting on later.