continued...

" Robin can't take it. He just starts cracking up and almost falls out of his chair. He may have been done for the count, but I wasn't done. I immediately marched up to Lucy and told her that, sorry not sorry, she is no longer welcome in our friend group. I told her that I did not like the way she was trying to steal my boyfriend, or the way she kept butting into the things that we planned to be "just us" sort of things. I also very emphatically told her that the both of us were not welcoming to people who would dare to spread lies about either of us. And the entire way through, she cried and cried and kept mumbling things like "fate" and "destiny" and all her mumbo jumbo. Eventually, Robin managed to compose himself enough to start talking again. He told her that he agreed with me, and that while he would have eventually forgiven her attempting to come between the relationship and acting inappropriately towards him, but he could never forgive someone attempting to lie to him about someone he loved dearly. So with that, he got up, gathered her stuff for her, and gestured to the door. But of course, Lucy had to go in for one more attempt. What does she do? She fucking pulls out her tits. She had come in wearing rather revealing clothing, which is actually quite normal for her, but apparently, she wasn't wearing a bra (and maybe no underwear at all!) underneath it. She just pulls down her collar and BAM! Tits. Robin immediately recoils and looks away, because while he's fine with seeing breasts (he's taking quite a few different anatomy classes!), he's just always been the sort of person that would rather just... not see bare boobies waving at him. And oh boy, is she waving those things around, practically screaming at him to look at them and understand that it is her she desires, not me, because her breasts are bigger and better and because they're destined to be together. During this whole time, I'm just... I'm speechless. I can't even comprehend what's going on anymore. Luckily, it just so happened that she was so loud that the RA knocked on the door, and I was at least functional enough to run and open it. She was too far gone to even notice that knock, so when our lovely RA looked in, all she saw was Robin yelling at her that it was inappropriate and to put them away, while she was yelling at him that one look at her and all of his desire for me would transfer to her. Once the RA managed to recover from... well, the shock of what the fuck was happening, she immediately stormed in (she's a tiny woman, but was raised by a father in the Marines. A very tough nut to crack!) and took control of the situation. She had come because residents were complaining about the noise in Robin's dorm, so she had to investigate. She sat us all down on the couch and had us tell our stories. Robin and I remained firm with our accounts, telling her about Lucy's behavior and what had happened this night. Lucy was crying and blubbering her little destiny spiel, trying to put lies in there about how I scratched her with my fingernails (bullshit just from looking at her and my nails: she had no scratches on her, and my nails are cut down and very blunt) and about how I seduced Robin and stole him from her and blah blah blah. The RA knew me personally enough to know that I was Robin's girlfriend and that I would never attack another person for no reason, so of course, Lucy's account is taken with a grain of salt. From that point on, it was only a matter of waiting for Campus Security to arrive so that Lucy could be taken away for disturbing the peace and indecent exposure. They wanted to take myself and Robin too, but my RA managed to convince them that Lucy was the only one yelling (which she was!) and that, if anything, we were the victims. We may get pulled in for further questioning, of course, and matter itself is still under investigation, so there is a chance that Robin and I may receive write-ups for this incident or something, but such a chance is low. I'll update again when I can, but for now, it's over. We're cutting her off from our friend group, Robin and I blocked her on all social media and her number, and if it becomes an absolute necessity, we're getting a restraining order. I know this story is wild and crazy and just unbelievable. I know that, if I had not witnessed this, I would never have believed myself. If you told me when I first posted my original post yesterday that I would bear witness to a crazy girl attempting to shove her tits in my boyfriend's face and screaming about how they were destined to be together, I would have asked what you've been smoking and if I could have some of that. But there you go... I'm not asking you to believe me. I'm just asking that, if you're capable of coming up with something like this, to send me whatever it is you have that lets you do that. Peace out, Reddit. See you in the next update! tl;dr: She was destined to wave her tits at him. EDIT: Formatting, what even is EDIT2: Obligatory "OMFG TOP OF THE SUBREDDIT PAGE!?" of disbelief. EDIT3: Obligatory "RIP my inbox" "