Yea, we had another conversation yesterday, where I had to walk a fine line between being understanding and standing my ground. She said that she really valued how caring I was and my overall demeanour and that its the first relationship she's in that she was really terrified of losing.

There were some red flags, she said that if I wasn't as caring she would try to take a more proactive stance if I wasn't as caring. I told her I was too old for mind games. I asked her why she was like this and she was quick to put the blame on her upbringing (specially her bipolar mom) but did seem a bit complacent in her ways. I had to tell her (and its true, I was ready to leave her) that I cant do more than what I already do so if she can't meet me halfway I'd have to go. She said she was willing to make the effort.

Also, I told her that what happened before can't happen again, she can't clam up and refuse to talk, it's not an option. But I made it clear that I wasn't trying to break her down, I only wanted to build her up, which means I wasn't going to coddle her. How csn tough love backfire?