I had a friend which I had been through a lot of shit with who at one point had a girlfriend. I liked his girlfriend, as a person, a lot, but I didn't know her that well. He fucked around a lot for the entire duration of their relationship and I knew about it. In the beginning he used me a lot as excuses and not tell me about it. She would text me asking me if he's with me and I always said that he were even though he wasn't. I didn't know how to deal with the situation for a long time. The thing is; I knew his cheating was bad and that she didn't deserve it, and I told him every chance I got that cheating was shit, that he needed to quit it or break up with her. But I also knew his story all too well and I knew why he was acting out. I didn't want to drop him for doing this knowing what I knew and I didn't want to lose him as a friend, because on all accounts we were great friends to each other.

After about 3 years of this I finally had enough of it, told him that he couldnt use me as an excuse anymore, that I wasnt going to tell her because it wasn't my place, but if she'd ever ask me about it or ask me if you were with me I was just going to tell the truth. After 5 years he finally told her, but she admits now that she always knew anyway, since people told her quite a lot, but she just chose not to believe them.

The view I have on friendships is that even though they do a shitty thing, if your friendship is solid and you trust each other, you aren't supposed to stab them in the back, no matter how much you might disagree with their actions. I've lied to police for friends, I've been in fights for friends and I've facilitated shitty behavior for friends. I always scold them and tell them exactly what I think of it afterwards, but they're still my friend. I don't think one instance or multiple instances of shitty behavior makes for a shitty person.

You're welcome to disagree, but I think that painting me as a shitty person for doing that is a bit short-sighted.