When I was younger and homeschooled throughout the time when all the other kids were playing spin the bottle and 7 minutes in heaven, I developed some questionable habits and desires. It's natural when you are so repressed and cut off from normal interaction with the opposite sex. You don't know what genuine attraction/flirtation/affection feels like, so you try to simulate it from feelings you get through viewing things on the other side of a screen. You scour the Internet for novel feelings since the novelty of a picture or video that you can't interact with fades quickly. Then you find yourself in dangerous territory.

For me, the best way to move past dangerous urges and impulses is to "normalize" yourself. After going to college and integrating myself socially, especially with women, all of those shameful impulses fade away. You learn what love and attraction is all about...finding someone who engages you on not only a physical level, but an emotional level. A child cannot engage you on an emotional level, because they are not at your same maturity level. It's the same reason why now entering my late 20's, 18-21 year-old girls just don't seem as attractive anymore. Sure I still find many of them incredibly attractive physically, but I probably wouldn't pursue one to date. I need someone that stimulates me on multiple levels.

It's hard to grasp this as someone who isn't well-acclimated socially...I know this from first-hand experience. But I have found that if you put in the work to acclimate yourself and not perpetuate the self-loathing, dangerous addiction cycle, you will move past this. You will wonder how you even had those attractions to begin with, and you'll be upset with yourself for waiting so long to pull the trigger. Best of luck.