I'm gonna go ahead and tell you something different than what everybody else is saying. It is every persons right to end their own life on their own terms, and if you believe it is ultimately the right choice, then maybe it is. I've suffered my own share of pain, and have come close to ending my life a few times, so I completely understand where you're coming from. After a certain point death (or rather, nonexistence) can become more appealing than continuing to live and feel pain. Most people don't understand that feeling. A lot of people are telling you it gets better, but you know as well as I do that's feelgood bullshit people say because they don't have anything else to tell you. So instead, I'm going to tell you what I do know: you are not alone. You are strong for making it as far as you have. The fact that you want to say goodbye to your friends speaks volumes about your character. The decision and drive to live on is something that only you can create for yourself, something you have to discover for yourself. There is no shame in folding when you're dealt a hand as bad as ours, but it only makes it that much more satisfying when you come out on top. People who overcome these struggles become great people who spread happiness to others knowing what true pain feels like. A lot of people don't get there, I know I definitely haven't. But even though it's selfish and somewhat hypocritical of me to ask, don't you want to see what you could potentially become? You can be the guy with a life destroying illness who became another statistic, just a plot device to other people's lives. Or you can make your life the main story and see where it takes you. It is your decision in the end. I know that my life has had experiences that I never dreamed I would be capable of having, experiences I wouldn't have been able to have if I had killed myself. Suicide can feel dangerously poetic and romantic at times, but always remember that's a load of crockshit. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. We can assume it'll be painful and miserable, and probably be right, but nothing is ever certain.