Background: a family member is being abusive to his girlfriend, who I was trying to support in her bid to leave him.

Stupid, stupid girl went over to his house after I told her not to, then accidentally left her phone there. I told her that if I was going to speak to her about this stuff at all, she had to delete all my messages - she did not. I asked her why the hell she didn't have a password on her phone after he had a history of sneaking through it and her laptop, she said that she didn't expect he would go through her phone. She said that he went fully psychotic and was totally raging and breaking things over what I said... so now I'm a target.

Then when I got angry at her for being so stupid and putting me at risk, she backtracked and said that it was all fine, he claimed to have only read "one or two" messages in the half an hour he was alone with her phone, he apologized to her and that he was just "a bit annoyed" about me. What a fucking mess. Plus my husband works away from home often, and now he's terrified that his brother is going to come over here and hurt me when I'm home alone.

The worst part is that if anybody in a domestic violence situation ever comes to me again, I'm going to have to say "sorry, not my problem, sort it out yourself".