I was in first grade or kindergarten when this happened. I remember sitting in class minding my own business when all of a sudden I felt something drop into my lower intestine. As a naive youngster, I wasn't sure what to do. I figured I was too self-conscious to poop in the bathroom. So naturally, I just opened the flood gates and dropped a deuce in my pants in class.

That's when panic mode struck. Luckily, I don't think it smelled too bad, but I still wanted to get the hell out of dodge before it did. So I raised my hand and got my teacher to excuse me to the bathroom. I waddled there, careful that there was no spillage down my pant leg, and went into a stall. I dropped trou and started digging, completely ignoring the fact that I could have probably used toilet paper as a barrier between my hand and my feces. But I completely ignored that. I dug out as much as I could, threw it in the toilet, pulled my pants back up, and exited the stall to go about my day.

At this time, there was one kid, we'll call him Vince, that was in third grade. He wasn't necessarily a bully per se, but he was HUGE for a third grader and nobody gave him shit. He was about as intimidating as third graders come. So, just to my luck, who better to see when I walk out of the stall with poo on my hand than Vince! He looks at me walking out then diverts eye contact for a split second, then his eyes light up after he notices brown fecal matter on my hands. To get to the bottom of it, he asks me "Is that poop?" I begin to answer, but then I realize he'll just give me shit (no pun intended), so I just put my head down and nod. He starts rolling around on the ground laughing as I wash my hands and get back to class.

Of course, Vince was on my bus at the time, so when I got on the bus after school, he announced "Hey! Aren't you the kid that pooped his pants today?" I was mortified.

Luckily, I don't think anyone remembers so I dodged a bullet there. Except Vince. I'm sure he remembers. People don't forget