I don't have any advice, I just want you to know you're not alone.

There are times in my life where if I don't get my "need" met it feels like everything else goes downhill. I'm grumpy enough if I don't get off at least every few days, but when I'm in the throes of my depression it kind of feels like my body is my last resort to actually feel... anything. And I get really worked up and upset until I cum.

I try to save it for my partner but their drive isn't the same as mine. It kinda sucks because we met during one of my manic episodes and I thought we matched up in that way but they've lost that drive since we got together and my urges flare up like crazy occasionally still.

I guess the only way I stay faithful is my bathtub/showerhead and my vibrating wand. And the fact that I really love my partner so much that even when met with advances I can't get them out of my head. I have been pretty borderline even recently and had an opportunity with some one who I know would meet my "needs" but they weren't my partner. So even if I did end up getting fucked it still wouldn't be necessarily what I'm craving.

It's weird when your body keeps sending you signals to do something like this. You think it would be awesome but the situation does not always allow you to feed in to that kinda thing.

I almost wish I was single and promiscuous. Oddly enough the rest of my personality doesn't lean that way. I just get flares of intense urges that I have to deal with and although my current relationship started out feeding that need I have to deal with the fact that most other people I meet and or date aren't like that.