Lots and lots of stuff. My time on this rock has been eventful.

However...

This is actual audio from the call where I realised that 'y'know, maybe that therapist chick was right' and that I'd really spent as long in that job as I was able.

I know it's only a minor incident in the grand scheme of things and that it ended well, but while it was going on and I was on the phone to that girl I was pretty convinced I'd added a couple more kids to my tally of people who I felt I'd murdered due to not being able to be there in person.I got to feeling that my sitting in the ops room, all safe and dry, instead of actually doing something was contributing to their deaths.

I realised after that that my taking sole responsibility for every single death was literally going to kill me. I spent most of the next few shifts at work doubled up with stomach cramps and suffering from headaches and chest pains. It seemed to me that my cowardly actions in hiding away in the ops room (strangely, I never extended this to include the others who worked there, who I generally regarded as very good, professional people) was contributing to these deaths, that I was to blame for all of them.