What is that grudge you just can't let go?

When it came to fighting, both my parents had opposite views. My mom wanted me to be safe and never fight. But for as long as I can remember my Dad always told me: "Son, never ever start a fight. But never run away from a fight either. Oh and when you do end up fighting, make sure you win".

I took after my Dad, so I ended up being a stupid kid who didn't take shit from anybody. As a result, bullying groups loved picking fights with me, from throwing stuff at me when the teachers weren't looking, or jumping me on my way home. I can't confirm, but at the time there was a rumor that picking a fight with me was their "rite of passage". I'd come home with bruises, cuts, torn books, etc... Of course I always fought back or retaliated in other ways. Be it fighting them one on one when they separated or doing dirty shit like placing pins/tacks in their seats or spraying their eyes with my makeshift pepper spray (a recipe I got from my Dad). Hell at one point the police went to my house once because I stabbed one of the bullies in the eye with a branch (he had to wear an eye patch for weeks). Now I may seem brutal, but most my fights were in self-defense or retaliatory in nature. The other fights were fights were (out of school) 'fun' fights.

Now this is wear my grudge begins. My school has a zero tolerance policy for fighting. If someone smacks you, you're supposed to report it to the teacher. If you hit back, then both participants in the fight are punished to the same degree (you get a major infraction in your record, and once you've accumulate four, you're forced to transfer schools).

So all those fights I got into (none of which I EVER started)? Well I got punished for them, and a few times I got blamed as the aggressor. I could never for the life of me understand why I was not allowed to defend myself. Teachers would always scold me for DEFENDING MYSELF and say "trust the school/system for justice". Well bull-fucking-shit, when you're in a fight the only thing you trust are your two fists and not some faraway teacher.

Anyway I was so infamous in my school that I had very few friends and most teachers disliked me and dreaded being my homeroom teacher (not that my grades were bad, I had the marks of an honor student but my infractions prevented me from getting any awards).

By the time I graduated I had 9 major infractions, and several undocumented ones (I frequented the principal's office so much she didn't bother recording them a couple of times). The only reason I didn't get forced out of school was because by Dad hired two attorneys and sued the school when they tried to force me out. My dad agreed to drop the suit, and in exchange the school will never force me out. The fighting still persisted but the school was too exhausted to deal with me so they just turned a blind eye.

I still hate my school to this very day and have never bothered going to any reunion. When I heard a couple of my old teachers died from a major hurricane (I think it was Katrina) a couple of years back, I smiled a little.

I don't regret anything and the words my Dad spoke, will be the the sames words I'll pass to by kids.

/r/AskReddit Thread