I had a friend, let's call him John. John randomly befriended me during P.E. one day. He did a backflip off the wall and said, "Hi I'm Mike." Seemed like a cool guy. I didn't hang out with him during school so much, but more so during summer break and after high school. We'd play on Xbox Live all day, and I'd stay the night 2-3 nights a week. He always got all the cool games, while I had a total of 5 in my collection. His parents lets him have his own privacy in his room (with girls) and he'd get 1-3 video games every month. For me who grew up with video games, me and John had a lot of fun. He was a charismatic guy, great at wrestling in high school and had a lot of energy - the opposite to me at the time. He was shagging women since age 16 in his mom's house, with total privacy in his room. Seems like a kid's dream right? Video games and women...?
After we aged to 21 years old, we started going to bars and sometimes house parties. From age 16 to 21, I gained a lot of weight (5' 7" @ 260 lbs). I was a WoW addict and introverted, so he would invite me to every place we went to. He would publicly make fun of me in front of others, especially women. He would hit way below the belt in terms of joking-around, also mentioning to women I was a virgin. (lost mine at 22) Also, I was always the third wheel when hanging out with him. He wanted to be the "alpha" and the center of attention. He would always get with the hottest girl at the party, then shag in his room, while I'd sleep downstairs on the couch, sometimes hearing them...and wondering what I was doing wrong. (no confidence, was what I was doing wrong) He kept laying women to continuously feed some kind of emptiness. He also never stopped telling mom and/or dick jokes. Those get so old, so fast, and belong in high school. It's like hearing the same joke 3-4 times....its like a broken record. Thing is, he was unpleasant to be around.
I joined the Army at 23 after he did, because he told me about the college benefits and such. (glad I did) When I got stationed in NY, I setup my man-cave immediately. We'd play Xbox Live (~2011) and talk about Army stories. He eventually got outta control with women and alcohol. (he blacked out 80% of the time and caught an STD once) Though I lost 40 lbs before the Army, I still wanted improvement. I took my gym routine (both iron and cardio) 3-5 times a week. I gained more confidence and talking to women didn't seem like such an impossible feat. He looked up information on the "pickup game" as well as traits an "alpha" male possesses.
After growing up and finding myself, I can't even bear to think of hanging around him anymore. Him getting the girls never bothered me, because I was not ready myself. What bothers me is all of his irresponsible actions have led up him to be a very dull individual...which rubbed off on me a bit.
You are who you hang around. I feel in control now that I'm not hanging out with a [now] mediocre man who dabbled way too long. Now, fitness wise, I destroy him in terms of progress. (15.5 inch arms, 17 inch calves, no stretch marks) He is now a 29 year old man who has built no skills for himself since high school, which makes him really boring. Just before we stopped hanging out, the women would naturally flock to me, instead of him. I also despise bars. (a house party is 100x better)
He reminds me of a skinny, insecure man who is impulsive in trying to fill a void and never has any original content when it comes to a mere conversation. I was so busy living life and he was so centered on trying to be "alpha" - well, looks like the tables have turned.